Jon Stewart noted that the Chinese, whose pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong remained largely peaceful, were beating the United States on every front during Monday night’s “The Daily Show.”
“China!” Stewart said. “China, you’ve surpassed us once more. I can’t believe this! First the Chinese beat us at business with Alibaba. Now they’re doing protests better than us. They’re beating us at both the Occupy and the Wall Street.”
Stewart then tried to find something Americans are better at than the Chinese.
“Rich entitled celebutantes tweeting stupid out-of-touch opinions,” Stewart said. “They’ll never top us there.”
But to his great dismay, it was revealed that the daughter of Hong Kong’s chief executive bragged about her tax-payer-funded purchases.
“Motherfuckers!” Stewart exclaimed. “What kind of Communists are these people?”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
To top it off Brazil is beating us in democracy and elections. Just a few hours after the polls closed they had 98% of the votes counted. Voting is compulsory in Brazil, with everyone between the ages of 18 and 70 required to vote. If you don’t support any candidate, you vote a blank ballot. Their elections are held on Sundays. There is fine of about twenty six dollars for not voting. From what I can figure from Brazil’s results this past weekend, less than three per cent voted a blank ballot or paid a fine. Here, we’re lucky to get slightly more than half voting. For some reason when I look at other countries free health care and voting standards, I don’t feel very exceptional as an American.
USA! USA! We’re number eleven! USA!!
Institutionalized racism and bigotry. We are, without a doubt, the world champs.