South Dakota state Rep. Betty Olson’s newspaper column last month opened innocently enough.
Writing for the Butte County Post, Olson (R) noted that the area had received “a lot of rain,” which made for a “soupy mess” at a local rodeo event.
“The weather has really cooled off,” she continued. “It was 34 degrees here Friday morning and we heard from some of our neighbors that it was cold enough to leave frost on their windshields and nip the tomatoes.”
After that bit of weather-related banality, Olson recounted her time at a Labor Day parade.
“The Labor Day parade in Eagle Butte was Monday morning so I got up early and drove over there to participate,” she recalled. “I was a little early so I got to have a long visit with Al Aberle and we solved a lot of the world’s problems. Al knows a lot of people from this area and was interested in the fact that Father Dan Juelfs and Father Kerry Prendiville grew up just north of our ranch.”
Olson gradually made her way to a local sports update.
“The Harding County football team had another good game Friday,” she wrote. “Since the football field in Buffalo still needs some work, we hosted Hill City at the football field in Newell. I think the score was Harding County 36 to 18 over Hill City.”
But Olson, who spearheaded the legislative effort to arm South Dakota teachers, saved the best material for last.
After expressing grief over the beheading of American journalist Steve Sotloff, Olson closed on a “lighter note,” sharing a faux warning from the Islamic State that’s made the rounds on conservative message boards.
This morning ISIS and the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling in Iraq, Libya, and other potential hot spots in the Middle East, they intend to cut off America’s supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.
If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents either.
It’s gonna get ugly, people.
Update: The editor of the Rapid City Journal made it clear that Olson’s piece was not — and never would be — published in his paper. This post has been updated to reflect that.
