Department of Faint Hearts and Narrow Escapes. Commentary is such an inherently assertive form of communication that it’s a good thing to find ways to have fun at your own expense when possible.
As many of you know, I spend a good bit of time working at a Starbucks near my home in Dupont Circle in Washington, DC. And this morning I was in one of my normal seats, talking on the phone to a colleague, when I noticed a group of police surrounding the building with that yellow ’emergency’ tape they use to cordon of areas or for crime scenes or whatever.
So I watched this out of the corner of my eye for a bit. And as they started to seem more intent about it, I got off the phone and went over to the front door where a few employees had congregated and were looking out seeing what was going on.
I asked what was up and was told, in a fairly nonchalant way: “Suspicious package outside, no one can come in or leave.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. And when I looked over and saw the package about three feet from the side of the building I liked it even less. Cover the war on terror? Yes, but not that close. And in any case I thought to myself, I’ve seen this miniseries before. And I’d really prefer to leave now in my accustomed unitary form.
So after a few moments of haggling with the Starbuckians (I’ve got a meeting! I simply must go!), they unlocked the door and I skedaddled out past the yellow tape perimeter and then scrambled home.
A short time later, with a bit, but not all, of my manhood recovered, I ventured back with my camera to see what was going on. It seemed the cops having coffee and donuts handed out among them probably meant that things weren’t too far gone.
A bomb expert did various tests on the box and, a short time later, the package-formerly-known-as-suspcious was whisked away never to be heard from again.
