America, Mitt Romney understands why you did what you did in 2008. And he’s not here to judge — just help you clean up the mess.
In his campaign kickoff speech in New Hampshire today, Romney sounded like a passive-aggressive ex-boyfriend ready to take the country back after it briefly ran off with the hot new guy in school.
“A few years ago, Americans did something that was, actually, very much the sort of thing Americans like to do,” Romney said. “We gave someone new a chance to lead; someone we hadn’t known for very long, who didn’t have much of a record but promised to lead us to a better place.”
What happened next, Romney said, was sad. But it’s time to move on.
“At the time, we didn’t know what sort of a President he would make,” Romney said. “It was a moment of crisis for our economy, and when Barack Obama came to office, we wished him well and hoped for the best.”
Three years later, Romney said it’s time to accept the truth about the country’s new boyfriend: “Barack Obama has failed America,” Romney said.
He then turned to a litany of complaints against Obama. The president “traveled around the globe to apologize for America,” Romney said. Obama “seems firmly and clearly determined to undermine our longtime friend and ally” Israel, he added.
But the worst crime of all — the most astounding thing Obama’s done since we allowed him into our lives — is tell America he cares about us when his real love is across the Atlantic.
Obama “seems to take his inspiration not from the small towns and villages of New Hampshire but from the capitals of Europe,” Romney said.
On economic policy, Israeli diplomacy, job creation, heath care reform and states’ rights, “Obama’s European answers are not the right solution to America’s challenges,” Romney said.
Romney knows exactly what America needs to shake off the hurt of Obama’s betrayal: a real tough guy like him. Romney promised to slash government spending and get the budget back in balance, to repeal that Europhile “Obamacare” law and get back to running things the American way — before it’s too late.
“In the campaign to come, the American ideals of economic freedom and opportunity need a clear and unapologetic defense,” he said, “and I intend to make it–because I have lived it.”
Romney’s ready to take us back, if we’ll have him. And he wants us to know he feels our pain.
“It breaks my heart to see what’s happening in this country,” he said.
