Stephen Colbert is worried about the long term value of the American dollar, which is why he's arguing for the return of the gold standard.

"Let's face it," Colbert said last night, "if there was a precious metals Olympics, who would win the gold? Gold would."

Jon Stewart last night lampooned Monday's Republican National Committee chair debate, highlighting some of the candidates' better gaffes.

Stewart began by critiquing Ann Wagner's wardrobe. "Wagner, what are you doing?" Stewart asked. "The lady Dole train left the station in 2008. These are Palin days!" He then performed an impromptu makeover, adding some bangs, a flag lapel pin and a leather jacket, among other things.

"You just got grizzlied!" he added.

Incoming House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) -- who will officially take the gavel this afternoon -- will say in his opening speech that the American people voted to "end business as usual" and the 112th Congress can "no longer fall short."

In his prepared remarks, Boehner also said the American people have humbled the new Congress, and want their representatives to be honest and accountable.

Ultimate Fighting Championship lightweight Jacob Volkmann was giving a snooze-inducing interview about his recent victory over Antonio McKee when things took a political turn for the worse. When Fanhouse's Ariel Helwani asked Volkmann whom he'd like to fight next, Volkmann said President Barack Obama.

"He's not too bright," Volkmann said. "Someone's gotta knock some sense into that idiot."

1||January 5, 2011: As members of the 112th Congress are sworn in today, Republicans officially take control of the House. Some are familiar faces, others are freshmen legislators. Meet the members of the new Republican House leadership.

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)||newscom/ZUMA Press&&

2||House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA)||newscom/Bill Clark/Roll Call Photos&&

3||House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-CA)||newscom/Jeff Malet&&

4||Budget Committee Chair Paul Ryan (R-WI)||newscom/Tom Williams/Roll Call Photos&&

5||Homeland Security Committee Chair Peter King (R-NY)||newscom/Ron Sachs/CNP&&

6||Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chair Darrell Issa (R-CA)||newscom/Jeff Malet&&

7||Energy and Commerce Chair Fred Upton (R-MI)||newscom/Ryan Kelly/Congressional Quarterly&&

8||Conference Chair Jeb Hensarling (R-TX)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

9||Science and Technology Committee Chair Ralph Hall (R-TX)||newscom/&&

10||Armed Services Committee Chair Buck McKeon (R-CA)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

11||National Republican Congressional Committee Chair Pete Sessions (R-TX)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

12||Agriculture Committee Chair Frank Lucas (R-OK)||newscom/Kevin Dietsch/UPI&&

13||Policy Committee Chair Tom Price (R-GA)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

14||Rep. Kristi Noem (R-SD)||newscom/Tom Williams/Roll Call Photos&&

15||Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC)||newscom/Bill Clark/Roll Call Photos&&

16||Appropriations Committee Chair Hal Rogers (R-KY)||newscom/Tom Williams/Roll Call Photos&&

17||Foreign Affairs Committee Chair Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL)||newscom/Kevin Dietsch/UPI&&

18||Education and Labor Committee Chair John Kline (R-MN)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

19||Chairman of the Leadership Rep. Greg Walden (R-OR)||newscom/Bill Clark/Roll Call Photos&&

20||Financial Services Committee Chair Spencer Bachus (R-AL)||newscom/Richard Clement&&

21||Judiciary Committee Chair Lamar Smith (R-TX)||newscom/Bill Clark/Roll Call Photos&&

22||Natural Resources Committee Chair Doc Hastings (R-WA)||newscom/Ron Sachs/CNP&&

23||Small Business Committee Chair Sam Graves (R-MO)||newscom/MCT&&

24||Transportation and Infrastructure Committee Chair John Mica (R-FL)||newscom/ZUMA Press&&

25||Veterans' Affairs Committee Chair Jeff Miller (R-FL)||facebook.com/jeffmiller&&

26||Ways and Means Committee Chair David Camp (R-MI)||newscom/Ryan Kelly/Congressional Quarterly&&

27||Conference Vice-Chair Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA)||newscom/Bill Clark/Roll Call Photos&&

28||Conference Secretary John Carter (R-TX)||newscom/Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly&&

29||Rules Committee Representative David Dreier (R-CA)||newscom/Tom Williams/Roll Call Photos&&

Pat Robertson says God told him what will happen in 2011, and it's good news if you're Pat Robertson, bad news if you're anyone else.

What, specifically, did God tell Robertson? "Your country is in grave peril," Robertson said. "In two years will come a time of reckoning. Your currency will shrink in value. Unemployment will escalate. There will be turmoil."

But Robertson isn't sweating it. His CBN network and Regent University will both prosper, and his American Center for Law and Justice "will be needed like never before," he said.

Stephen Colbert had Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell (D) on his show last night to discuss how Americans are becoming a bunch of "wusses."

Rendell spurred a mini-controversy last month when he declared America had become a "nation of wusses" after the NFL postponed the Eagles-Vikings game Christmas weekend due to the snowstorm that crippled the northeast.

Ron Klain -- Vice President Joe Biden's chief of staff -- will leave his post at the end of January.

In a statement this morning, Biden said he is "proud" of the work Klain has accomplished, and wished him "the best of luck as he takes this next step in his career."

Returning from a two-week holiday hiatus, Jon Stewart last night caught up on the news he missed, and celebrated the productive lame duck session of Congress.

"Holy crap balls, Democrats, you need to lose midterm elections more often," Stewart said. "It suits you."

Rick Sanchez is looking to make a comeback after being fired from CNN in October. Or, rather, his friends are making one for him. The eponymous website "Friends of Rick Sanchez" (tagline, "Get the whole story") makes the case for Sanchez's compassionate side, saying "Rick doesn't hate. He doesn't discriminate."