Stranger Than Fiction? TPM Casts The 2010 Midterms Movie

October 29, 2010 11:31 a.m.

1||Looking back on this campaign season, it seems the old adage is true: You really can’t make this stuff up. So since it’s only a matter of time before Hollywood forgoes the formality of trying, here’s who TPM would tap to star in the movie version of the 2010 midterms…

Delaware Republican Senate nominee Christine O’Donnell and Tiffani Thiessen: Both brunettes, both trying to escape TV shows they did in the 90s. O’Donnell (R) earned the reputation as an anti-masturbation and premarital sex crusader after an appearance on MTV’s Sex In The 90s. Thiessen spent years playing goody-goody Kelly Kapowski on Saved By The Bell.

Produced by Jillian Rayfield||Newscom/Jeff Malet/Newscom/WENN&&

2||Aside from their apparent affection for flannel and beards, Alaska Republican Senate nominee Joe Miller and Chuck Norris share a love of good old-fashioned tea party politics. And Norris would have a grand ol’ time reenacting the day Miller’s security team handcuffed and detained a journalist at a town hall, except, as we all know, “Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.” ||Facebook/JoeMillerAlaska/Newscom/phlphotos&&

3||New York Republican gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino’s campaign slogan is “I’m mad as hell,” which is exactly how Joe Pesci felt when Kevin McAllister catapulted a paint can into his face in Home Alone.||Newscom/Zuma&&

4||On Arrested Development, Jessica Walter’s Lucille Bluth would often dismiss even the simplest questions with, “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.” This is great practice for when she repeatedly dodges the press as Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle (R). ||Newscom/Zuma/Kathy Hutchins&&

5||Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) is facing the potential disappointment of losing an election to an upstart tea party candidate like Sharron Angle. As George H.W. Bush in W, James Cromwell…insert younger Bush joke here. ||Newscom/SPN/Zuma&&

6||As for Kentucky Republican Senate nominee Rand Paul: Aqua Buddha as Justin Timberlake is *NSYNC. ||Newscom/RollCall/SPN&&

7||Kentucky Democratic Senate nominee Jack Conway put out a controversial ad attacking Rand Paul’s Christian faith as a result of allegations that Paul asked a woman “to kneel before a false idol called Aqua Buddha” during his days as a college student. As Jason Bateman’s Arrested Development character Michael Bluth might say, “guy’s a pro.” ||Newscom/Zuma/phl&&

8||Picture this: It’s election night. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) is making his acceptance speech. Democrat Alvin Greene walks on stage, grabs the microphone, and, Kanye West-style, says: “I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish — but Alvin Greene was one of the best senate candidates of all time!” ||SCDP/Newscom/WENN&&

9||Pennsylvania Republican Senate nominee Pat Toomey may live 80 miles away from Ground Zero, but that didn’t stop him from opposing the proposed Cordoba House Islamic center in the area. As “Homeless Guy” in Big Daddy, Steve Buscemi expressed comparable sentiments: “Yes, considering we’re in America. I mean, if you don’t like spaghetti and meatballs, why don’t you get the hell out?” ||Newscom/CQ/Joy Scheller&&

10||Pennsylvania Democratic Senate nominee Joe Sestak released an ad in which he holds up a bag of dog waste to prove a point about his opponent Pat Toomey. Steve Carell showed a similar gluttony for punishment on The Daily Show when he ate a large portion of Crisco to prove a point about…something. ||Newscom/Zunique/Kathy Hutchins&&

11||In Jamie Lee Curtis’ recent release You Again, she repeatedly confronts her high school rival, played by Sigourney Weaver. This will probably make it easier for her to call her California Senate rival’s haircut “so yesterday,” as Republican Carly Fiorina did. ||Newscom/Zuma/APA&&

12||A staffer of California Republican gubernatorial nominee Meg Whitman‘s Democratic opponent Jerry Brown was caught on tape calling Whitman a “whore.” Let’s just hope that when reenacting this particular incident, Kathy Bates doesn’t channel her character from Misery. ||Newscom/Zuma/AdMedia &&

13||California gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown (D-CA)? J.K. Simmons.||Wikimedia Commons/Newscom/Kathy Hutchins&&

14||John Travolta’s role in Pulp Fiction is the paramount case of an actor making a major comeback. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) was busted for repeatedly soliciting multiple prostitutes and still seems poised to keep his job. Travolta can certainly channel his inner comeback kid to play the role. ||Newscom/RollCall/TassPhotos&&

15||Sen. Michael Bennet (D-CO) and Timothy Hutton. ||Newscom/RollCall/APA&&

16||Colorado Republican Senate candidate Ken Buck has compared being gay to alcoholism, which Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lechter can relate to: He loves a good Chianti. ||Newscom/RollCall/Sipa&&

17||Both third-party Colorado gubernatorial candidate Tom Tancredo and Lou Dobbs have checkered pasts when it comes to talking about illegal immigrants, and Dobbs recently dipped his toe into acting on the show The Good Wife, doing an Emmy-worthy turn as…himself!||Newscom/RollCall/ShowCasePix&&

18||Gov. Charlie Crist (I-FL), who seems poised to come up short in his run for Senate against Republican Marco Rubio? Cue John Slattery, who plays a boozing New York City ad man with loose morals on Mad Men.||Newscom/SPBN/Pacific&&

19||Florida Senate candidate Marco Rubio (R) has dismissed talk that he’s planning to run for President in 2012. But if he does, Jimmy Smits has already played Matthew Santos, who campaigned for President on The West Wing. SPOILER ALERT: Santos wins.||Newscom/Sipa&&

20||She may be a Dame, but after seeing Helen Mirren fire several automatic weapons in the movie Red, is there any doubt she could kick a man in the groin like former WWE CEO and Connecticut Republican Senate candidate Linda McMahon?||Newscom/Zuma&&

21||Connecticut Democratic Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal (D) and Crispin Glover. ||

22||If Samuel L. Jackson’s famous “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” was a political party, it would be Jimmy McMillan‘s “Rent is too damn high.”||Wikimedia Commons&&

23||Illinois Senate candidate Mark Kirk (R) and actor Michael J. Fox.||Flickr:MarkKirk/Newscom/Kathy Hutchins&&

24||Illinois Senate candidate Alexi Giannoulias (D) and actor John Krasinski.||Newscom/RollCall/UPI&&

25||Gov. Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Sean Penn. ||Newscom/RollCall/pacificphotos&&

26||West Virginia Senate candidate John Raese (R) and Richard Dreyfuss. ||Newscom/RollCall/WENN&&

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