Your input needed: Top Ten ways McCain will fight the Oil Companies
John McCain's new ad states among other inanities, that he'll "fight the Oil Companies".
Recognizing the potential for comic gold when I seek it, I thought I'd solicit suggestions for a "top ten"list of ways that McCain will "fight the Oil Companies".
Here are my three:
1) Wrestle them down and plant more Oil Leases in their pockets
2) Agrresively court them for bigger campaign contributions
3) Challenge them for the best luxury boxes at the Republican National Convention
Advertisement
4) Call oil exec's trophy wives names.
5) Accuse them of being celebrities.
6) Crash jets into their refineries.
August 5, 2008 4:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
7. Fix that slow leak in the oil pan of his Model A.
8. Give migratory waterfowl and other wildlife legal standing to file class-action lawsuits for damages from oil spills, so long as all paperwork is signed by the victims in the presence of a notary public.
10. Complain long and loud about Big Oil research into Obama's "Sci-Fi Wonderland" of alternative fuels.
August 5, 2008 5:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
See who can ofer the most outrageous legislation offering tax cuts for all their profits from all the money they are stealing from us.
Have a contest to see what energy plan they can devise that will bankrupt middle America in the shortest possible amount of time. Dick Cheney to head the planning committee.
August 5, 2008 5:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great ones folk, thanks for participating!
A few more of my own:
- Insist on "faith-based" methods for searching out new drilling sites
- Cause 'numeric capacity overflow crisis' with Oil Companies' bank accounts
August 5, 2008 6:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
(10) Make service station attendants go back to airing up your tires if you're Republican.
August 5, 2008 8:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Grab Oil Co executives by ankles and suspend them upside down untill all the loose change falls out of their pockets.
That'll show 'em!
August 5, 2008 10:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Challange Big Oil Exec's to a "wrestle-a-thon" in unrefined crude to determine that days price.
August 6, 2008 1:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
"pledge to investigate the emerging emissions-free petrol or 'clean gasoline'"
August 6, 2008 12:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
How about:
-Launch Manhattan-style "Cold Fusion" project
-Sponsor research in new Perpetual Motion technologies
August 6, 2008 3:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
McCain will put flowers in the nozzles of gas pumps (good visual!)
McCain will let Exxon drill on the patios of all 128 of his luxury vacation homes.
McCain the Flagpole Sitter will sit atop the derrick of the Gulf platform "Big Slick" through the night of the Republican Convention and will address the convention from his perch and not come down until he's elected President.
August 6, 2008 3:01 PM | Reply | Permalink