I'd be laughing if this weren't so serious.  Our ports are STILL not secure, seven years after 9/11.  Neither are our chemical plants.  Those Air Force guys that sent nuclear-armed B-52s off across the country accidentally last year?  They just failed their Department of Defense nuclear security inspection. 

What we mostly got from our souped-up Homeland Security dept are color-coded terror alerts and instructions on using duct tape.

But ah, our fearless FBI agents will protect us from the forces of evil, right?  By infiltrating vegan potluck dinners:

Carroll, who requested that his real name not be used, showed up early and waited anxiously for Swanson’s arrival. Ten minutes later, he says, a casually dressed Swanson showed up, flanked by a woman whom he introduced as FBI Special Agent Maureen E. Mazzola. For the next 20 minutes, Mazzola would do most of the talking.

“She told me that I had the perfect ‘look,’” recalls Carroll. “And that I had the perfect personality—they kept saying I was friendly and personable—for what they were looking for.”

What they were looking for, Carroll says, was an informant—someone to show up at “vegan potlucks” throughout the Twin Cities and rub shoulders with RNC protestors, schmoozing his way into their inner circles, then reporting back to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, a partnership between multiple federal agencies and state and local law enforcement. The effort’s primary mission, according to the Minneapolis division’s website, is to “investigate terrorist acts carried out by groups or organizations which fall within the definition of terrorist groups as set forth in the current United States Attorney General Guidelines.”

Carroll would be compensated for his efforts, but only if his involvement yielded an arrest. No exact dollar figure was offered.

“I’ll pass,” said Carroll.

They never learn, not even after law enforcement got caught planting a mole in a Quaker Church group.