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What's More Uncomfortable Than Discussing Sex With Your Kids? Attempt numero dos


How about discussing race in America?

Let me first state my strong belief that this is more a generational problem. Much has happened in our nation’s recent history (the past 40 years). I do not see the same problems discussing race in people my age or younger (I have 3 "white" teenagers). I may be wrong, but the voting is only supporting my theory.

I also believe that this generational problem does not only belong to whites. As Obama stated, it is hard for the black generation who remember overt racism as a daily fact of life to forgive and forget. I'm not so sure I could.

I don't know that this can be changed. I am not sure we can convince a large number of "whites" that were raised to believe they were better than another entire race that they in fact are not. I don't know that we can convince a large number of  "blacks" that white people have changed. Yesterday at work, I heard an elderly woman call a young black lady a "dirty nigger" because she tried to help her. The young lady tried to act like it didn't bother her and an elderly man apologized, but you can't un-ring a bell. No matter what is said or done afterward, I'm sure she might think ALL white people secretly feel that way.

I believe the only way out is through. In this time, as in other times of generational shift, it is not only of benefit but necessary for the survival of our nation, for the youth to pave the way. In this matter the elders are wrong and we should not allow their fear, bigotry, or deeply held illogical beliefs to hold us back. Whether they are black or white.

Back in December, before all the brouhaha grew to a roar, Time magazine published an article by Shelby Steele, "The Identity Card", in which he attempted to marginalize every black person into one of two categories. I must mention that he himself is "black", in that he has a black father and a white mother. In response I wrote this letter:


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Holy shit...what is with half the blog not posting? The rest is here:


As a white woman, mother to a biracial son, and staunch Obama supporter I was stunned by the simplistic ignorance of Shelby Steels viewpoint. In the Time article “The Identity Card” the author separates all black Americans into two groups- the “bargainers” and the “challengers”. Bargainers are those who bend and offer compromise. Challengers question motive and intent and trust only when proof is offered.
The bargainer is a thinly veiled Uncle Tom who kowtows to white America. While the challenger is lauded almost to hero statues, able to fight racism with a single press conference. What Mr. Steele fails to realize is that these are indeed not racial traits- but human characteristics. They are acted out in every society without regard to racial makeup. From the beginning of time we have separated ourselves into “us” and “them”. It is not a racist trait- it is an innate desire to survive. "Can I trust you" is a legitimate question until you know someone’s motives. Does that make it ok? No, in fact a rush to judgment can be dangerous. By stating that these are the only behaviors available and espoused by one race is so simplistic and, uh racist.
For instance I am a bargainer and my sister is a challenger. We are both white. I would like to believe these are not our only traits. The author doesn’t give that same benefit to black America. He quickly classifies every black person into one of those two categories and then goes on to explain how bargainers like Obama and Oprah serve to allow white America to pat themselves on the shoulder for not being racist.
I believe that the reason white people are drawn to Obama has nothing to do with our desire to forget our racist past. True there are those in our society, both black and white, who subscribe to the let sleeping dogs lie philosophy. I don’t believe this is a desire to closet our racist feeling. It is a belief based on fear. They truly believe that the wound of racism has been stitched closed and to drag up the past would rip out those stitches. What they fail to realize is that you can’t just close an infected wound. It will only fester, creating a poison which threatens the body as a whole.
The author implies that the bargainers suffer from a lack of self identity. He offers up as evidence Obama’s attendance at a predominantly black church in Chicago which “his own mother could never have felt comfortable in.” This view smacks of narrow mindedness and illuminates the shadow of a rather large chip on the shoulder of the author. Has he found his own people to be so petty and small? I haven’t. We find family where it makes itself available. Obama found acceptance in his church and it is very likely his mother would have felt the same pull.
If Obama is indeed a bargainer, it is because of his assuredness of who he is, not lack of identity. People who are comfortable in their own skin can take the time to evaluate another’s position. It is the person desperately gathering ideals around them who are blind to the opportunity reasoning provides.
Has Obama questioned who he is as a person? God I hope so! Right now we are dealing with the effects of having a president who considers “Self Reflection” what you do when you shave in the morning.
Is racism alive in America? Yes... But the day when a majority of white Americans can look at a black President and not only see themselves but who they wish their children to be, the weights of justice shift.

"Right now we are dealing with the effects of having a president who considers “Self Reflection” what you do when you shave in the morning."

Brilliant.

"Yes... But the day when a majority of white Americans can look at a black President and not only see themselves but who they wish their children to be, the weights of justice shift."

I thought this was particularly poignant. One of the reasons I have admired Senator Obama's story is because he is the child of a single parent family. His mother and grandparents raised him. I am a single mother raising a son with the help of my parents. There's this social stigma around single-parent families now, particularly when it's a mother raising a young boy. There's shelves full of books out there with titles like "Lost Boys," "No Man Around," etc, etc. I suppose, thinking about it now, that I like the idea that a boy raised by his mother and grandparents can grow up to be President someday.

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I raised a son alone too. Like Obamas Dad , my son's Dad left . There are so many of us!
My son is voting this year for the first time, and yes, like his Mom, he is a Obama supporter.

If his Dad or his family had been part of his life, he would have been exposed to much prejudice.
They could hardly open thier mouth without saying the "n" word.

I was young and stupid when I got married.
I didn't use that word, but I didn't speak out when others did.
I grew up in Washington state in the 50's. The only black people I ever saw were porters on the train or in the dining cars on the train.
My twin and I were treated like royalty on those trains .
Those are some of my greatest childhood memories.
Then we moved to Florida. What a whole new world it was. I remember seeing water fountains in stores and one would be very new with a sign that said "White Only". The other was all beat up and said "Colored Only" . I asked an adult why the "colored" people had the old beat up water fountain and was told, oh, they just don't take care of theirs ". I didn't question that.

We only lived in Florida a few years.
We moved to the Chicago area. They didn't have separate water fountains there.

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