A few weeks ago, residents of Sidney, New York, demanded that Muslims dig up and move the bodies of their dead relatives from a private Muslim cemetery. And last night, Stephen Colbert came out in support of the effort: "How dare those Muslims build a grave so close to... ground?"
He continued that "usually when you die, your threat level decreases significantly," but based on Sidney's actions, Colbert had no choice but to reach the "terrifying conclusion" that there is something new to be afraid of: "Muslim vampires."
It's "not just sleeper cells," Colbert said. It's "sleeper-in-coffin cells."