Sen. Bond Makes Christmas Song In Honor Of CBO Score And ‘Harry’s Health Care Folly’

Talking Points Memo
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Sen. Kit Bond, retiring at the end of next year, tries out a Christmas limerick with an ode to “new taxes, levies and fees” and President Obama’s “minions” in the Senate Democratic caucus.

Bond (R-MO) does his tune set to ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas with such verse as “When out of the CBO there arose such a clatter/We knew the media would never ask what’s the matter.”The Hill noticed the video, which we had to clip.

We hear Bond enjoys doing “fun or off beat YouTube videos from time to time,” and this one includes his dog, Tiger, and his spokeswoman Shana Marchio’s dog, Pooley.

Watch below, but also note he singles out several Senate Democrats.

But the President and 8 Democrats trembling with fear!

Obama admonished them all filibusters to block
No matter if it meant we’d all soon be in hock
More rapid than eagles his minions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and prepared to lay blame;

Now Schumer, now Sanders, now Durbin and Harkin
On Landrieu, on Nelson, on Bayh and Lincoln
To the well of the Senate, to the top of the wall
Vote away! Vote Away! Vote Away all!

OMB Director Peter Orszag gets a shoutout as well, predicting he “got the goods from ‘ol Harry,” and Bond says he has “unelected authority.”

Though, fact-checking the song, Orszag was unanimously confirmed by the Senate on Inauguration Day and is not a “czar.”

And here’s the full script:

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Hill
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bill;
The walls were all marked by junk not so jolly
Dead measures Harry’d flung in his health care folly;

The members were nestled all snug in their steads,
While visions of home danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘travel clothes’, and I with my bag,
Hoped Harry’s bill had hit the final snag,

When out of CBO there arose such a clatter,
We knew the media would never ask what’s the matter.
Away to the sink I flew like a flash,
Threw up in the basin o’er the loss of our cash.

The score from the deal from Harry’s back-room
Showed a massive debt explosion coming too soon,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the President and 8 Democrats trembling with fear!

Obama admonished them all filibusters to block
No matter if it meant we’d all soon be in hock
More rapid than eagles his minions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and prepared to lay blame;

Now Schumer, now Sanders, now Durbin and Harkin
On Landrieu, on Nelson, on Bayh and Lincoln
To the well of the Senate, to the top of the wall
Vote away! Vote Away! Vote Away all!

As spending before the wild deficits fly
Roll over all obstacles, mount to the sky
So up to the house-top, the debt it flew
With a sleigh full of goodies, cap-and-trade too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofs
The prancing and pawing of White House goofs.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Pete Orszag came with a bound.

He was dressed all in promises, from his head to his foot,
Carrying ads from big Pharma’s loot
A bundle of payoffs he had flung on his back,
He looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
He and the White House got the goods from old Harry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
“Don’t bother reading it; no need to go slow.”

Ignore all those voters, it’s ok if they seethe,
Suck it up and sell it, even if they are peeved.
These folks have had their financial confidence shaken;
It will be years ’til they know how badly they’ve been taken.

He was happy and cheerful, a right jolly old elf,
But I could not catch the holiday spirit myself;
How far away from common sense we’ve been led,
Our kids and our grandkids have their futures to dread;

He spoke not a word, but turned with a jerk,
Planning and plotting, to make the numbers work,
He distributed the benefits as far as can be;
And dreamed up new taxes, levies and fees.
With a flick of his wrist he waived off the Minority,
In a scary display of his unelected authority.
To all he warned, the voters at home be ignored,
They have figured out it’s their ox t’will be gored.

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