Jon Stewart took a look at the House Republicans' "Pledge To America"
last night, which the GOP said would be full of bold new governing ideas. "Who are these fresh-faced young guns and their bold new ideas?" Stewart asked after hearing some of the agenda. "Wait a minute, that's the same shit we heard before."
Just to get this straight: Two years ago America broke up with you because you had badly mistreated her. And so you disappear, do some soul searching, get your head together. And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say: 'Baby, I know you left me, but if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to fuck your sister. Every chance I get. It's who I am.'