Oh, man! I know eight-year-olds who would be embarassed by this excuse: Pat Robertson says he was "misinterpreted." You gotta check out the details.

If you'll indulge another oddball reference (don't worry, this is my last day!), Robertson's pathetic cover story reminds me of the great old Monty Python "Piranha Brothers" routine:

Rogers: I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.

Stig: No! Never! He was a smashing bloke. He used to buy his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.

Rogers: But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.

Stig: (pause) Oh yeah, he did that.

Memo to Robertson: Don't bother. The police have film of you nailing your own head to the floor...